By Jay Holzapfel

“If drinking makes it easy…”

The idea of using alcohol to make Christmas and its associated gatherings easier to handle has never applied to any holiday situation I’ve found myself in. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that the Christmas memories I do have involving alcohol are all good-to-great. These range from hanging at a bar with friends who made it back to town just in time for a quick skull session before scattering off to our in-laws for the holiday proper, to singing my head off around the piano at a friend’s yearly catered pre-Christmas party (complete with an open bar). I know what it’s like to feel alone around the holidays, however, and to be helplessly stuck inside your own head, filling that void with a constant stream of audio from wireless headphones that may as well be a part of my skeletal structure at this point.

“No one can save you from Christmases past…”

At our most alone, it may seem like no one can save us. For the darkest nights in December, I turn to Christmas music. Melancholy has always been a favorite of mine, so naturally I fell in love with both of Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas collections during college, especially Silver & Gold. It took me some time to appreciate the original songs on either collection, generally preferring his renditions of the Christmas standards and haunting recordings of Wesleyan hymns that I may otherwise have never heard. In time though, my appreciation of the original songs surpassed that of the traditional offerings, in large part due to the second track on the first disc of Silver & Gold, “Lumberjack Christmas / No One Can Save You From Christmases Past.”

No holiday that I celebrate is as closely intertwined with music as Christmas — nothing else even comes close. Whether it’s the radio mainstays that make their way back into the Top 40 every year or the centuries-old hymns sung at churches with overflowing pews by congregations seeming more motivated to sing than at any other point during the year, it’s nearly impossible to separate Christmas or the memories I have with it from the songs I have heard and sung hundreds of times.

The ability of music to alter one’s mood shouldn’t be overlooked or underestimated, especially when it comes to Christmas and the songs that define this season. Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas music is able to capture the conflicting range of feelings that the season can elicit, oftentimes within the same song. Christmas itself is just one day in the entire month of December; there is plenty of time throughout the month to feel stressed, cold, and alone. The expectations of the holiday and the responsibilities that come with it aren’t always easy to meet.

“You’ll have to love it, or leave it at last.”

The second half of “Lumberjack Christmas / No One Can Save You From Christmases Past” advises the listener to let go of the pain involved with the past, to cast off the memories of previous holidays that are otherwise too hard to reconcile. It may be true that no one particular individual can save you from your past and the pointless guilt that we all share, but you aren’t alone. The ability for this song (and all great Christmas music) to help realize that is a wonderful thing.

Jay Holzapfel is a writer from Dayton, Ohio. He really likes Christmas and Christmas music. You can find what music he listens to here: https://www.last.fm/user/DopeToast.